September 2013--a life-changing month

This is a post I've been wanting to write for awhile, but I have had three obstacles: the first is writer's block--I just can't seem to envision the words to capture our life in a nutshell this last 6 weeks. The second is time. Though I deeply desired to chronicle things, we've been on a fast track and getting off to do anything non-essential has been tricky. The last reason is hard to explain without the coming details, but my mind just isn't ticking along the way it should--I've been in a brain fog which makes writing anything of substance (or at least pleasing to me) difficult.

All that being said, this morning I've decided to forge ahead and getter done. I've decided that impaired quality is still better than missing the moment--and it's just about been missed. So here we go ...

Last month I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. 

On September 9th I had surgery to remove the left half of my thyroid. We had discovered a few months prior that there were some small nodules on it and after a failed biopsy and a consult with a surgeon, I had reluctantly decided that the only way to rule out cancer was to have it removed. I guess going in, I knew that cancer was a possibility ... but they gave my odds of having it at 10%. This surgery was more "just being thorough".

So when the call came on Monday morning (the 16th) and the doctor said the "C-word", I felt like a balloon that had just been popped. D was eating cereal with the kids in the kitchen and I rushed there. I stood next to him, my rock, mouthing "It's cancer" with a look of disbelief on my face, all the while being reassured on the phone by my doctor. I eventually hung up and let him hold me while I cried.

Throughout the day we learned more about the kind of cancer I had and had a chance to examine the pathology report. Everything held good news. Papillary thyroid carcinoma is a slow-growing cancer and very curable; my nodules were very small (1.2 and 3.7 mm); the margins were good; there was a benign lymph node present ... all of these things were comforting in the wake of a frightening diagnosis. My biggest fear at this point was the second surgery I expected. I still had the other half of my thyroid, after all.

As it turned out, the surgeon thought a good option would be to leave it in and watch it, but in spite of my dread of a second surgery so close to the first, I was uncomfortable with that option and asked to go ahead and take it out. We scheduled the surgery for that Friday (the 20th) and my sweet mother got a plane ticket to come to my rescue. She flew in the day before the surgery and stayed for 10 days, helping me recover. And pack.

Because on top of all of this, we had sold our house and were closing on October 1st. Thankfully, we had been working hard and had finished much of the packing and even had moved a lot to storage. But as anyone who has moved knows, there is ALWAYS more to do.

Here I am on the other end, though. The second surgery also showed cancer, a 7 mm nodule. Again, we had good margins, and a benign lymph node. All cancer is out and I don't need radiation therapy! (best news this week) I'm working on getting my medication leveled (which explains my foggy brain and tiredness). We moved as planned, and the four kids, Dave and I, and the bulk of our furniture are now squeezing around one another in a 1300 sq ft house, waiting for the home we are building to be finished.

Life is good. I am grateful. 

Honestly, from the very day I got the diagnosis and began to learn about what the adventure ahead of me would entail, I have been full of gratitude . . . gratitude for the feelings I followed that led to the diagnosis; gratitude for the thorough PA who diagnosed it; gratitude that we caught it so early and that it is 100% curable; gratitude that I don't have to have the radiation therapy; gratitude for the prayers of my vast support network; gratitude for a gifted surgeon who talked me into the surgery in the first place; gratitude for the gentle love from my husband who is always calm in the midst of my storms; and gratitude for my faith in a loving Heavenly Father which lets me know that nothing in this life has to be faced alone or on my own strength.

I have a lovely scar across the base of my neck and I hope that when I look at it every day in the mirror, I can remember to have a heart full of gratitude for life, for trials, and for the people we get to share our days with.