One for the books

Valentine's Day does not rank at the top of my list of holidays. Sure, there are aspects about it which I love ... as a child, a highlight of my year was exchanging valentines in my classroom. I remember clearly the moment I found out that in 6th grade we wouldn't get to exchange them. I was incredibly disappointed, and rallied a friend to come with me to approach the teacher with a request that we still continue on in the fun. He listened to my concerns, then turned to the class and asked them out loud if they wanted to do Valentine's Day boxes this year. I'm not sure if they were too embarrassed to admit that they did, or if I truly was alone in my enthusiasm for this tradition, but they all declined, leaving me feeling like an idiot. A disappointed idiot. I STILL like doing it and so my kids have their own little mailboxes sitting expectantly on a shelf. They have spent hours and inordinate amounts of paper and stickers filling them this year.

Something I don't like about Valentine's Day is the commercialization of it and the outward importance society puts on it. In the early years of my marriage, I had high expectations for my husband. Surely, he would shower me with romantic gifts and cards to express his adoration for me. Well, not really. Don't get me wrong, he never forgot the day; he always did something for me. He always had a card or some flowers. He always wished me a happy day. Being a self-centered and immature person, I am ashamed to say that more than once I spoiled my own Valentine's Day by being disappointed that he hadn't met my outlandish dreams.

Since then I've grown more comfortable in our relationship and better able to recognize love in the less blatant, Hallmark-dictated ways of expression. Over the years I have let go of the over-the-top expectations (or if something is important to me, I've learned to tell my poor husband rather than expect him to figure it out by osmosis) and I have learned to find joy in all the moments. Four kids along the way have helped in that endeavor.

So maybe that's why this Valentine's Day was my favorite. It also could be that I actually put some serious effort into being "romantic" and surprising him, for a change.

If you wait a few hours, I'll share the details. Hope you had a happy V-day!