I'm really not sure what's wrong with me. I was so impatient with my kids tonight. I love them desperately, but I was ready to be DONE early in the evening and wouldn't you know it--I didn't get them into bed until after 9. I've been evaluating my day and wondering why I feel so anxious. It's rare for me to be so uptight. It's been a good day, albeit a busy one.
I started it off right by going visiting teaching. I came home and let the kids play while trying to prepare invitations and plan a birthday party for Smidget. Somehow I lost track of time and came to with 2 minutes to get Chatterbox to kindergarten. Obviously she was late. I hadn't even fed her lunch. (Awesome mom tidbit #1.)
My sil came for a visit and I'd promised her a birthday lunch. I pulled together something not bad, though certainly not great and we had a nice visit. After she left I finished the invitations and attempted to clean my house. Oh, did I mention that the party is day after tomorrow? Hardy har har. (Planning your child's birthday party in 2 days. Awesome mom tidbit #2.)
Oh and I forgot about how Queenie started screaming with reckless abandon while I was on the computer. I ignored her until she reached a fever-pitch. As I ran to her rescue, I observed the FedEx guy on our porch. No doubt he heard her screaming and was about to call social services on me. I took the delivery with a guilty "you know how it is" chuckle and then hid my head in shame. (Ignoring screaming infant. Awesome mom tidbit #3.)
Also at this time I put dinner in the crock-pot and rice on timed delay because I was taking dinner to a sick friend later. But at the present moment it was time for me to pick up Chatterbox and take both kids to an after-school soccer group run by my sick friend and--you guessed it--me. Maybe I can have some actual awesome mom points for this particular hour. But when we got to the park, I realized it was quite chilly. Don't worry, I'd brought myself a jacket. My kids, however, were not so fortunate. Thankfully I had a fleece blanket for Queenie, who was also dressed warmly. Smidget lucked out with a jacket that had been kicking around the Pilot (see, sometimes it pays to ignore the clutter), but poor little Chatterbox and her boogery nose. It's like the child has no one to look after her. (No thoughts of children's jackets on a chilly day. Awesome tidbit #4.)
I'm starting to feel a little crappy.
We rushed home, Queenie wailing all the way. She got her nurse, but screamed anyway as I threw dinner together. We delivered it amidst more screams, coupled with plenty of whining from both my other kids. There were threats and raised voices from me. (Awesome mom tidbit #5.)
I am ashamed to say that when we arrived back after all this it was 6:15--well after dinner--and instead of feeding them, I let the older girls run play in the playroom while I put Queenie to bed and then went and ate my dinner all alone trying to relax. I drank a diet coke. No relaxation. D finally made it home, but had a meeting. I made cookies to take to friends who had moved in and other friends who were sick. I delivered them with the older girls, snapping angrily at them all the way. What is wrong with me?
The day ended. Baths were given. A story was read (but only one because by this time I could hear Queenie wailing away in her crib again). And now I am decompressing.
Sorry you had to hear it. Hopefully you skipped a bit so you won't know what a disaster I am some days.
And that, my friends, is why I don't write more often!! :)
15 comments:
I think you're dizzy because you did like a gazillion things! And all that service. Whew! You put me to shame. My advice? Cut a couple of things out! And you know that every mom has had a few days like that. I think it's nice to hear when it's someone else. Especially someone great like you. Makes everyone seem a little more human. Tomorrow's got to be better, right?
I"m sorry that you had such a bad day. I hope that the rest of the week goes better for you! You are a wonderful mother, don't beat yourself up.
And that my friend is why I only have three children. :) Seriously though, I'm sorry you had such a rough day. From the one mom of a screamer to another, I really do feel your pain. And the anxiety thing I can relate to, also. And I think it's made doubly hard when you sign up to help people and do good things and life makes it SO. HARD. Hang in there. You are a good mom. Your girls won't remember these bad days as much as you will. :)
It's all that dang servie! you described my Monday perfectly. Too bad we need the blessings so bad!
It's a good thing that you're not the only one. I'm sorry you had a bad day, today will be better, that's how things go. I sometimes at my children too...especially when I am running around and don't feel like I have any time for myself....hope today is better!
Now I feel guilty.
Okay, first off, Elisabeth, it was marvelous and I invited you and I was not complaining about that. After I wrote it I thought, I hope Elisabeth doesn't read this and think she contributed. It was just a list of my day and I was doing fine until later. Lunch with you was a highlight and I hope you will ALWAYS call me when you are in town.
Second, about the service. I think you all helped me in my analysis. See, I haven't done service for anyone in many months, so I think I wasn't accustomed to it. (How sad). Anyway, I loved each portion of my day in its own part, I just didn't handle the busy-ness very graciously in respect to my kids. That's all.
Finally, thanks for the words of encouragement. You are all such good support and I love you.
Em, you gotta know that posts like this make us all feel that we are not alone in the mass chaos that is the life of a stay at home mom with 3 kids. Thanks for that, but sorry about your day. For sure you got double blessings for cooking and delivering amidst screaming!
Geez, lady, no wonder! Sounds like you need a night/day/week/month off! Hire a wetnurse and go to the Bahamas for a week... ;) Seriously, though, good luck w/the party and hope tomorrow is better. Isn't it great that we get to start each day fresh?
You sound pretty human to me! Stop being hard on yourselves.
Don't worry, I'm ignoring a screaming baby to read this.
lol, kim!
I can still remember driving home from work realizing it was Zac's Bday and he was expecting a party. I cell phoned in a pizza order and bought a store cake at Kohler's with an icing tube to write his name, and threw one of his Christmas gifts in a bag. I still feel terrible about that day.
Tessa, you crack me up. It's great to know I'm not alone. Thank goodness for cell phones, eh?
It really is so good to hear you have bad days too. You are supermom and if you yell at your kids and let them scream occasionally, then maybe I can be a little easier on myself. Even supermom's have rough days. Thanks for sharing.
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