Motherhood is often about imparting wisdom and while I generally try to be open and honest with my wee ones, there are a few secrets I'd like to guard for a long, long time.
Here are a few of the secrets I *might* let them in on--when they're much, much older:
*When you think your chocolate shake is gone and you hand over the cup it is not actually empty. (With a careful blend of precise cup bending and straw placement, I can glean another quarter cup of deliciousness with no complaints out of you!)
*Showers can actually be taken in a minute or two.
Those ten minutes of uninterrupted silence are golden.
*Fruit is "good for you".
You just continue calling grapes 'candy' and we'll be all right.
*'Maybe' doesn't really mean 'no'.
And even when I say 'maybe' I usually don't mean 'no'. But it is often a relief when you take it as such and go your merry way.
But there are also one or two misconceptions my kids are carrying around.
For example, I'm not exactly sure where they got the idea that I am grumpy (because I always speak in my Snow White voice and dance around the house in lilting joy) but I'd like them to know it's not true. I am NOT grumpy. (Did my caps and color make me sound grumpy? Sorry.)
Also, I am a good cook. The food I make tastes delicious (well, that may be overstating it a tad, but let's at least call it 'yummy'). The kiddies always eat like I've placed poisonous granades in their dinner, digging suspiciously and making fearful faces as they eat.
Do any of you have valuable state secrets you guard from your children? Or possibly a misconception or two you'd like to state correctly (for the record)? I really hope it's not just me.
5 comments:
Love it. I actually also abide by your state secrets. Let me add, for the record, that my food IS delicious, not simply yummy. If not, I wouldn't eat it... ;) Here are a couple of mine:
1. Contrary to what you (the kids) think, I actually can get up before the alarm goes off. It's not like it will electrocute me if I try to get up early. But you don't need to know that.
2. Yes, there actually is candy in the house, and no you can't have any. It's all for me & daddy after you go to bed...
Hmm, I'm realizing the extent of my sins of omission... :)
How about this one: Even though as an adult I could technically stay up as late as I want, I'd rather get you in bed early so I can go to bed early. And I do actually like my naps.
Or, I totally hide from the kids that sometimes I have dessert after they go to bed, after saying they can't have any.
And the good dark chocolate is just for Mommy.
Ooh, now I'm on a roll. There is no real reason to make beds every day, but it is still required at our house. Except on Sundays for early church.
Pooping in a diaper is actually way easier than going in the toilet. But, for my purposes, I'll just let you believe that it is, in fact, easier to interrupt whatever it is you're doing to run to the restroom, remove your clothing, relieve yourself, wipe, pull up your pants and wash your hands than it is to sit in your poop until I convince you to let me change your diaper.
Excellent contributions, all. Unfortunately, Smidget has already discovered the truth to your secret, Susie, which is why she was only potty trained for a week and is now perfectly content to walk around in her size 6 diaper. "I'm still a big girl" she insists. I'm about to drop kick her to the curb, to put it gently.
Okay, my very best one is the kids think you actually have to add water to your juice after you poor it into your cup. Then and only then is it okay to drink!
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